Be Kind, Be Tenderhearted, Be Forgiving

 “Be Kind, Be Tenderhearted, Be Forgiving” 

Message @ Jericho Ridge Community Church – Sunday, Nov 22, 2020

Hello, friends. My name is Brad and I’m part of the teaching and leadership team here at Jericho Ridge.  I want to welcome you into this space together as we launch into our online teaching time all together.  

On March 17, 2020, the general public in BC met a new face that has now become ubiquitous: our chief provincial health officer Dr. Bonny Henry.  As a public health emergency was being declared, Dr. Henry ended her initial statement that has been heard and repeated countless times since: Be kind, be calm, be safe. 

Those words were important then, but even more critical now as the pandemic has stretched into months.  The words now appear on mugs, t-shirts, masks, street art… you name it.     

When asked about the phrase and what guides her approach to her work, she cited not a piece of clinical research but a 1947 Albert Camus novel “The Plague”. [It] captures the psyche of people," Henry said in a 2009 interview with the CBC's Shelagh Rogers. "One of the things that I've learned around chasing infectious diseases is that they evoke a fear in people that is very different from other types of disasters. A lot of it comes from not understanding and not knowing and not being able to see these things that are causing disease. "It struck me as being an important reflection on people's reactions to things." 

Understand that, and you can understand why Henry's message to British Columbians every day has focused on empathy and collective understanding more than restrictions and criticizing. When something unknown and challenging comes at you, Be kind, be calm. Be safe.     

This weekend, we are wrapping up our teaching series on the topic of forgiveness here at Jericho Ridge.  Our assumption is that now that you are not seeing people outside of your family bubble, you will likely be spending more time with a fixed group of people. And because of off of the anxiety and extra mental work that is being asked of us, we can fray around the edges in how we treat others around us.  I find myself needing to say “I’m sorry” more these day. And over the past three weeks, we’ve seen that forgives is a bit more complicated than we sometimes make it out to be.

I can remember growing up that if we did somerting to annoy my younger siblings, my mom would march us in and make us sit down and say to them “I’m sorry”. To which they were required to say “I forgive you”.  I despised these little exchanges – part of it was that they felt inauthentic. Forced.  We even had a little song to help us remember it.  

Title - Silly Songs with Pastor Brad 

 “Be ye kind, one to another. Tender hearted forgiving one another. Even as God, for Christ sake has forgiven you. Do – do. Doddle – e d- Eph 4:32”

Just so you don’t miss it, let me read that verse again from the New Living Translation: Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”  The question that jumps out at me is “doesn’t this kinda sound like God is forcing me to forgive others?”  Be kind, be forgiving because you HAVE TO?  Is that what is being asked of me?  Let’s look together at the context of this instruction so we can gain some additional clarity on what living out the way of Jesus when it comes to forgiveness should look like.  

The discussion actually begins up at the start of chapter 4 where we ready Lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Then in 4:17 we pick up the specifics on what this means.

“With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles [people far from God] do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.  

This is Romans 1 kind of language. Except here it is clear that this darkness is as a result of people giving themselves over to this kind of behavior in a willing way.  They have lost all fear of consequences of evil behavior.  There are people in our world who have so closed themselves off to God and the life that God desires to give them, that they have lost touch with what it means to be truly human.  This is tragic and the clear instruction is to take care that you and I do not get to that place in our lives.  Let’s keep reading… 

20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. 

You might wonder how and why I changed into my old painting clothes.  The magic of television, friends ☺.  The text uses a helpful word picture to help us understand what it means that those who have heard about the truth of Jesus and begun to live into that place have experienced.  It’s like they were wearing an old, grungy set of clothes.  My wife says I can’t wear these out in public anymore.  I was painting our house this summer and I was up on the ladder and when I came in, I realized that there was a hole in my backside – so my boxers were on display for the neighbourhood to see!  Not cool. These old clothes are corrupted by paint.  And have holes in them.  They are not good to wear anymore.  

Ephesians 4 goes on to describe what this kind of old thinking and acting looks like in our lives.  It sets it up as a series of contrast statements:  

25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”[d] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil. 28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own,[e] guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Old way of thinking and living is really a list of things that so destroy human relationships.  If you persist in them, you would need to spend inordinately high amounts of time saying that you were Sorry for these things!  They include…

• Lying
• Uncontrolled anger 
• Stealing 
• Hurtful speech 
• Bitterness 

These are also not just things that put a damper on human community…  In Ephesians 4:30, we are reminded that how we live can bring sorrow to the second person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit.  We are reminded that God is not an out-there impersonal force, but a being with whom we can have active and personal relationship.  And so friend, let me invite you, if this is new for you today – you begin this relationship the same way you begin other relationships… You reach out and say “hi”.  And then you start the journey of getting to know each other more deeply.  This is not a legalistic kind of thing.  There is great joy in putting on this new nature.  Starting fresh.  

Because friend, these are tattered clothes that are not to be worn anymore.  They are to thrown off and replaced with the following things that are presentable and worthy of being worn out in public.  Let’s look what the text says….   

• Instead of lying, we are to practice Telling the truth
• Instead of anger, we are to practice self-control. 
• Instead of Stealing we are to take up useful labour so that we can be generous to those around us;
• Instead of foul or abusive language, harsh words, we are to let everything we say be good and helpful and encouraging to those who hear them (I find this one to be a particularly challenge).  
• Instead bitterness, we are to have our hearts filled with love that flows out toward others.  We are to be tender in our hearts toward others and to practice forgiveness.  

PHEW! That is a lot to absorb, isn’t it?  I am struck by a few things that I want to highlight for us here as we round out this teaching series and move into a time of celebrating communion together:

1. Be patient with others (4:2) – you aren’t perfect either ☺  In other words, forgiveness or learning to say “I am sorry” in a healthy way is just another part of learning to live together in the Kingdom of God.  

Sometimes this notion of put off / put on and even the analogy of clothing leads us in our minds to think about a presto moment where we magically transform from painting clothes to collard shirts.  That may be your journey but it is not the story for the vast majority of us! 

Look at the langue of Eph 4:20 – You have learned about Christ.  You have heard but you also need to learn.  Twice repeated for us is the truth that Christianity is a way of life that needs to be learned.  And so depending on how long you have been on that learning journey, will depend on how much of that old grubby nature you have put off and how much of the new life in the spirit you have put on.  

Think about it this way. Students and teachers, many of you just finished your first quarter-mester.  The current competency based assessment system can be helpful here.  There isn’t just a “you know this or you don’t know this”.  There is a sense a movement in the competency assessment. You are still learning / working at this.  You are growing in this. Even at the level of mastery, you are still growing in your skill in putting the concepts into action.  All of us are learners… let’s give others grace as they grow.  

So that is number 1 – be patient with others.  Secondly, this patience is rooted somewhere – it is rooted in our relationship with God.  

1. Patience with others is rooted in how patient God is with us 

This is actually a larger principle of our experience…. Look at the end of Eph 4:32 – forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.  In other words, what God extends to us, in Christ, we extend to others.  

This is the story of ancient Israel, whom God purchased from slavery in Egypt.  And then God ways to them “I want you to keep a special place in your hearts foreigners and the disposed and displaced persons – because remember, you were once them.”  

Or how Jesus says to his disciples in John 13:34 – As I have loved you, so you also are to love one another.  Or how Jesus instructs un in Luke 6:36 to be merciful just as your Father in heaven is merciful.  The principle of new life together in God’s forever family is that our of the fullness we have received, we give.  So when God extends patience to you, you extend that to others.  When God and because God extends forgiveness to you, you extend this to others.  

This is also where I want to leave us as we wrap up this series.  Jesus tells a parable about those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb, the eternal banquet that God is setting before those who say yes to God’s invitation.  And in that parable, there are people who don’t have the right clothes for the wedding feast – they are invited and the invitation is clear – this is a wedding, but they are unwilling and unable to give up their old patterns of living and thinking and enter God’s holy presence.  

Friends, all around us, some of us in our own families, are those who have been invited to the table but who are still lounging in their dirty painting clothes and refusing to come in.  And this week, as I was preparing, God stirred by heart again to think about members of my own extended family, neighbours, colleagues who are not yet willing to walk in a personal way with God.  Your job, my job is to be kind, be tender hearted and ensuring that they are clear that God’s offer of life changing forgiveness can be theirs because of the great love that God has shown.  

So as we partake of communion today, I want you to hold their name or names in your mind.  And as you partake, make this a communion moment of mission. Take time to pray for them, by name.  Maybe make a commitment to text or write them this week.  Invite them to Christmas Eve.  Talk to them about the hope and the life you have found in Christ.  Not in a pushy or forceful way, but out of the place of deep grace you have come to know.  I invite you to take the communion elements and get ready….    

Take, eat – the body of Christ, broken for you for the forgiveness of sins.  Take and eat knowing that our role is not to be satisfied once we have a seat at the banquet, but we are to be out in the highways and byways inviting and compelling others to taste and see that the Lord is good.  

Take, and drink.  The blood of Christ shed so that you can experience peace with God.  You have freely receive received the forgiveness of God.  Freely offer it to others.  

This song that the band is going ot lead us in is about the topic of forgiveness.  It’s a bit of a special music piece.  You are welcome to sing along but it is also a time for reflection and maybe journaling.  What has God been showing you this series?  What questions still percolate in your mind – if you are joining us via church online, post them in the chat.  If you want further discussion, email me and I’d be more than happy to chat with you about what you are learning and any outstanding questions you have on the important topic of forgiveness.    

Benediction: 

Ephesians 5:15-20  

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.