Uncomfortable is NOT Easy

“Uncomfortable is NOT Easy”

Text: John 12:24-26, Hebrews 10:23-25

Focus: Rethinking our theology of Church: the church does not exist for our comfort.

Essential & Awkward

Uncomfortable: The awkward and essential challenge of Christian community.

• Welcome to our new teaching series that is going to probe into how and what we view church/Jericho Ridge to be.
• And we’re going to start with 2 basic theological premises:

1) First, “we” are the church.

2) Second, “the church” belongs to God.

• So while our desire & needs come into play, we also need to remind ourselves that church isn’t just about what we think and what we want/need.
• God has a purpose, mission and vision for his church and we would be wise to heed the wisdom of Proverbs 19:21, “you can make many plans, but eh Lord’s purpose will prevail.”
• The church is God’s people, God’s agent of the Kingdom, God’s vehicle to carry out his eternal mission on earth.
• It should never be reduced to something for us to consume or shape into our own likeness.

• Rather, “my” individual desires/needs must be kept in tension with what “others/you” desire/need … and ultimately everything that we bring to the table has to be kept in tension with what God desires for his people/church.
• And if I am committed to these basic beliefs, we can say with certainty that my comfort level is going to be challenged and even defied…
• …and that’s okay … it’s just not comfortable…

…which brings us back to the title of our series, Uncomfortable: the awkward and essential challenge of Christian Community.

• Five Sundays probing into significant aspects of what being a Christian community looks like and requires of us.
• Who are we as Jericho Ridge Community Church and what do we want to continue being and/or what do we need to become?
  • Why do we exist?
  • How do we mature as a community?
  • Why do we serve others as a community?
  • What do we believe about stability?
  • And last, the need for diversity within our community.
• Depending on the focus, you are either going to feel as if you are affirmed in how you/we are living within community, or you are going to be challenged to rethink how you/we are living in our community.

So, let’s have a conversation about Jericho Ridge Community Church.

• Our series title uses two descriptors as part of being the church:

1) it is awkward,

2) it is essential.

• Talk to me about these two concepts:
  • Who here thinks church community is essential? Why?
    • God created us to live in relationships
    • It grows us. How?

• Now “awkward” … who here has ever thought or thinks that church/Christian community is “awkward”?
  • Vulnerability
  • Accountability
  • Weird language and practices

When we talk about the words “awkward” and “essential” as a community, I think we have to delve into the concept of “belonging”.

• I believe that at the core of creation/humanity is the desire/need to belong, to be in vulnerable relationships that form the framework of a community.
• Before anything was created, we know that God existed in community: Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
• The triune God is the source that everything created flows from.
• So it stands to reason that whatever is created would have similar identifying markers/DNA as the Creator.
• One of these markers is that nothing has ever been created in isolation and then left in a vacuum.
• Everything is created in relationship to something or someone else.
  • For example, when God first created Adam he said it wasn’t good for him to be alone.
  • Now Adam had animals, nature, even God, to interact with … and yet, God said, he needs another human.
  • And interestingly, God didn’t clone another Adam. He created another human with which Adam could identify, interact with, learn from, and belong with.
• And that is an ever-present constant of the entire human narrative.

We especially believe this to be true as a foundational principle in the Christian community as we identify as church.

• We want to belong.
• We want other people to belong.
• To some degree, we want others to know us and to some degree, we want to know others.
• The more we know someone, the more we are willing to risk letting them know more about us.
• And we can think that it will make us comfortable to belong.

However, one of the significant challenges we face as the church is when we associate/confuse the concepts of belonging and comfort … when we falsely think that they will mean the same thing for us.

• Let me explain by getting uncomfortable and using myself as an example.
• The thing that I find most awkward about belonging to church … is actually me!
• The fact that I belong, with all of my flaws, sin and brokenness … often causes me to pause.
• I’m okay with you and your flaws, sins, brokenness, unique qualities … things that make you, you, being in the mix.
• What I find awkward is putting me, all of me, into the mix.

And yet, in order to belong (not just look like everyone else), the real me has to be present and accepted.

• Erin Lane, a Millennial blogger, puts it like this,

“The thing I am most desperate to keep you from finding out about me is … I want to belong, but I don’t know if I can.”

• In other words, are the following things possible in the church:
  • Can I accept/be comfortable with myself?
  • Can I risk that others, my inner circle and you, will accept/be comfortable with me?
• If these two things can happen, then I can belong.
• But neither of these steps to belonging is comfortable, because I am in no way perfect.
• Your acceptance of me comes with the cost of me letting you knowing who I am, good and bad.
• Only when that interaction takes place and the price is paid in the market of our relationship, can I belong with you … and vice versa.

As a Christian, my life is largely shaped by the awkward and essential challenge of belonging in Christian community.

• And it’s very rarely been “comfortable” … it’s been good/wouldn’t change it … but not necessarily comfortable.
• In my experience, Christian community is actually a strange thing:
  • The more I want from it, and the more I give to it, the more uncomfortable I have to be, and yet, the more fulfilled I become.
• I would even go so far as to say that there is an actual correlation between my “discomfort” and my “fulfillment”.
• Why is that?

In John 12, as Jesus is letting people know that he is going to die, he shares the analogy of a grain of wheat.

• Turn with me to John 12:23-28,
• As we read, I want you to notice the language of “uncomfortableness” in relationship to Jesus’ “fulfillment” as he shares with his friends what’s about to happen…

²³ Jesus replied, “Now the time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory. ²⁴ I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. ²⁵ Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. ²⁶ Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.

²⁷ “Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came! ²⁸ Father, bring glory to your name.”

The main principle is a fairly easy one to grasp.

• In order for something to produce more, it needs to die … life comes through death.
• We understand that in the physical realm, especially in nature.
• You plant a seed in dirt, cover it, leave it for dead, and with the right environment, something even greater comes to life … flowers, pieces of fruit, a stalk of wheat.

It’s when we apply this to life, to ourselves, to our church community, that the principle becomes an uncomfortable one to actualize.

• What do we find Jesus doing in the midst of community?
• He is laying aside his sense of self, ego, pride, right, and he is offering himself.
• Does this make him uncomfortable? Yes.
• It throws his soul into turmoil.
• Does he try to hide it? No.
• Does he try to isolate himself, go off by himself so no one can see what’s going on inside him? No

What an amazing insight into the humanity of Jesus!

• And what an incredible example of living in community that we get from the one who says, “follow me” … put yourself exactly where I am (vs. 26).
• You want me to do what? And you want me to do it in the presence of other people?
• I like how R. Tasker puts it in his commentary,

What is Jesus saying to us? If you want to belong as one of his disciples, you have to disown the domineering authority of your selfish ego; if you want to live the life of an integrated person in Jesus’ community, you have to ruthlessly abandon your self-centred existence that lives conformed to the ways of your world…

Friends, it one thing to believe in Jesus and be saved … it’s another thing to follow Jesus and belong.

• Belonging takes commitment … commitment to one another in Christ, which is a unique type of relationship that doesn’t require that we all become the same.
• Salvation, as the entrance into community, always starts with belief … but it’s actualized in belonging…
• … and belonging is never comfortable because we are constantly faced with the humanity of our community.

• Jesus didn’t say to his disciples, “I’ll do this dying to self thing and then you’ll never have to do it.”

• He said, I am going to do this as an example for you to follow, and it’s not going to be easy, but if you want to be with me, then you need to follow me…
• …And the Father will honor anyone who does this.
• Just like the kernel of wheat that’s planted…
  • Your dying will bring life for you and others.
    • Give up your safety and security for the promise of eternal life
  • Give your life in order to save it.
    • Selfishness, isolation, security will destroy you.
  • Serving others will make you great.
    • A friend of mine once said, “I know I belong when you allow me to help you.”

Jesus did not establish the Christian community, the Church, so that we would be comfortable!

• The purpose of the church is to be a place of belonging, so that we will risk growing … and others will be attracted to what they see happening because they cannot see it anywhere else in the world.
• The very nature, by which we enter and belong in Christian community, is radically uncomfortable in comparison to any other group we are a part of in life.
• I say it all the time, there is no other community in the world like the Church!
• And as essential as it is for the world to see it, it is equally uncomfortable for us to live it.
• As Mandy Hale says, “Never cover up your flaws, because you don’t know who you are helping or inspiring by being you.”

Let me end with two examples from my life:

Infertility:

Shortly after Sylvia and I got married, we went through the very emotional and painful rollercoaster of infertility.

• At the time, it had the capacity to consume and derail our lives.
• At the same time, we were catching on that very close friends of ours were also going through the exact challenge … they chose to keep it quite private and not tell anyone.
• As we realized this and thought of the emotional weight they were carrying all by themselves, we decided to lean in to our church at the time, become vulnerable and ask for support.
• As an individual, asking for help is uncomfortable.
• As a leader in a community it can be very uncomfortable.
• And yet, here we were, lead pastor couple in a church and we felt God was saying, lean in.
  • Accept who you are.
  • Risk vulnerability and trust that your community will accept who you are.

So we lead by example, became vulnerable and risked being very uncomfortable in revealing our inadequacy of being able to get pregnant.

• What happened?
  • Personally, we found peace around our inability to “procreate” and God opened new doors to adoption.
  • Within our community, our church as a whole responded with acceptance and on an interpersonal level, we built relationships with some people who we really didn’t have deep connections to prior.
  • Moreover, as our circle of belonging grew, a woman on the fringe of the church, saw hope in a broken situation in her pregnant sister’s life…
  • …and long story short, on October 8, 2004, Sylvia and I waited expectantly in the Abbotsford hospital for the birth of our son, Joel, who we adopted.
  • And our family grew with the addition of not only Joel, but Shannon and Ron, and their families.

• Soon we went through it all again and adopted Savana and added all of her birth family into the mix.

Two local, open adoptions in 20 months.

• Miraculous, almost unheard of within the adoption system and community at the time.
  • Easy? No.
  • Comfortable? Not at the beginning and even now there are challenges.
  • Fulfilling? Beyond what I could have imagined!
  • And to this day, we still get to talk with people because of our ongoing story that started in 2000.
  • And ultimately we point to human brokenness, God’s people, and our God.

Mental Health

Well that was way back in then, what about now?

• How is church awkward and uncomfortable for me in this season of life? Right here with you in Jericho Ridge?
• I try to be an open person, but I’ll be honest and say that there are things about me that if you knew, it might make me uncomfortable.
• One of them that I have shared about, but still is not all that comfortable for me, is my challenge with mental health.
• I’ve been open about this since day one, when Pastor Brad first approached me over coffee with the notion of coming back to Jericho Ridge.
• I told him then, that I am not the same person that I was back in 2005-2006, when we were attending here.
• And more recently, in January, I shared more of my story around living with depression and anxiety (you can listen to it on our website – Fear Not series).
• And frankly, because this is current and a “chronic” issue, it’s especially uncomfortable to live with, let alone bring into our community.
• Short of a miracle, I don’t think I am going to be healed.
  • Meds and counseling have changed my life.
  • But they are not a cure.
  • And when I ask God why he won’t cure this? Sometimes all I hear is silence and sometimes I don’t like what I hear because it’s challenging and uncomfortable!
  • It’s not necessarily how I would draw things up moving forward.

In fact, back in January, after my friend Michelle and I talked about mental health two things happened:

• First, unexpectedly, it sent me into a bit of a spiral, where I needed to ask my therapist for help … and she did.
  • And I’ve grown/matured because of that.
• Second, it opened up more conversations and deep relationship with people in JRCC than anything else I’ve taught on so far.
• And so it’s shaping relationships and ministry in our community.
• And I am inviting people who are struggling with mental health, to lean into our Jericho community and risk sharing their stories so that they can belong more fully.
• I am able to say that I’m doing it … I am taking the risk … so can you.
  • Now, so far no one has publically joined me in this … yet.
  • Why? Because we are so hesitant to take that risk that precedes the reward of belonging.
  • But I’m not giving up.
    • In fact, this fall we are going to launch/join a group to support mental health.
    • Starting Sep. 25, anyone struggling with mental health or living with someone who has mental health challenges, is invited to join me.
    • We’ll meet as a drop-in group every 2^nd and 4^th Tuesday of the month.
    • It’s called “Living Well” and it’s a community for building and restoring hope in a safe and confidential environment.
    • Notice, I didn’t use the word “comfortable”.

Friends, we need to assess our beliefs and practices as the church.

• Church doesn’t exist for my/our comfort.
• Jesus calls us to sacrifice our comfort for the sake of what He wants to do in us and how He wants to use us to grow and attract those around us.
• So it doesn’t matter if you are struggling with mental health, infertility, finances, greed, parenting, identity, doubt, alcohol … we need to conquer our comfort and take the risk of belonging if are to be the church.
  • If we don’t know who you are, how can we accept you, and how can you belong?
  • You can be present … you can “fit in” and look like others … but it won’t sustain you.
• Eventually, you’ll leave, and maybe you’ll try another church or more likely, you’ll give up on Christian community all together.

It’s why the writer of Hebrews implores us in chapter 10,

¹⁹ So, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. ²⁰ By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way… ²² let’s go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. ²³ Let’s hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. ²⁴ Let’s think of ways to motivate each other to acts of love and good works. ²⁵ And let’s not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

 I choose this.

• Not because it’s easy or comfortable.
• In fact, I need your help to live it.