The Uncomfortable Wisdom of Stability

Series: Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community

The Practice of Stability

Good afternoon friends.  For those of you know might not know me, I’m Meg, and I’m married to someone one on the preaching and leadership team here at Jericho.  If church can make us feel uncomfortable, then I must be doing something right as I right now am very uncomfortable right now.  As some of you might know I am currently in my final year of grad school studying spiritual formation.  Growing in my understanding of how people grow in their relationship with God.  Through my time in grad school I have taken up a new interest…Monks and Nuns. I have loved to learn about the different paths of spirituality our brothers and sisters of the past have taken.  One of these paths I am going to share with you today…the practice of Stability.  As with any way that we connect with God, we simply use a practice to aid us in the connection.  The goal is never the practice itself – for instance the practice of stability – but the goal is connection with God.  The practice of stability has allowed me to connect with God and others in a season where that felt difficult.

Now, I have been at Jericho for a while, 14 years to be exact.  I love this church.  I love its quirk, and I love its people.  I love seeing God move and mold us.  God has and is doing amazing things that we could have imagined or dreamed of years ago… But, friends, there was a season I fought hard not to run.  I don’t know if you think it’s unusual for staff or staff families to want to take a Sunday or a season off church, but I am here today that me, Meg Sumner, pastors’ wife to Brad…certainly did.  I hope to give you a glance into my inner life and wrestling’s, as well as my conversations with God, in hopes that you see God…and maybe you see yourself.   So I am going to imagine that you are just sitting in my living room and we are just chatting…

About two years ago things were hard around here.   It had been a season full of hard conversations, disappointments, and some deep loss for me.  This left me very tender, and very guarded from God’s people.  This also left me wanting to run.  It would be easier to leave this place, and start over somewhere without the mess and tensions, then to stay.  I would ask God if we could go, if He would release us, and He in a kind voice would say “no Meg, you are to stay.”  So what was I to do, on one hand I want to leave and run-away, and on the other hand I hear very clearly that I am to stay.  What could I do to hold these tensions?  Well, my friends the Monks and Nuns in the Benedictine tradition helped me.  Although I did not meet a monk or nun I was studying them.  One assignment had me chose a spirituality of the past, and find two practices to practice for an 8-week period.  The Benedictine’s follow the “rule of Benedict” which outlines how their communities are to run.  There were lots of practices I could choose from.  I thought that praying the hours sounded good.  God again nudging asked me if I might want to practice stability.  Of course, we had a few conversations that went like this…” really God, how about being hospitable, or the intention on play” …again the gentle nudge…” stability Meg”.  Crap…stability it is.

When a monastic enters into live in a monastery they take a vow of stability, along with fidelity of monastic life and obedience. It’s interesting how these three vows are really one vow.  This is saying “I’m here for life, I’m here for this community, and I will submit my desires for this place.”    Benedict’s insist on stability .”

How did this practice change me and is changing me?

For me, I began to practice stability in my coming to church.  You see, it was a practice to every Sunday get dressed, show up, and be at church.  It was hard work.  Some of you also experience this, maybe not just at church but doing other hard things like going to a job you don’t love, staying in a hard season of a marriage, staying hopeful with a difficult child or family member, or seeing your counsellor.  We practice stability by continuing to show up…In our coming. Some weeks had me siting in my car wondering if I could do it.   Paul challenges the Christians that he was speaking with in Romans 12 of how to life a life of worship to God under the new covenant.  In chapter 12:1 it says

And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

So what I did with my body was an act of worship.  My coming was worship.  Through my practice I was allowing God’s will His desire for me, redefine what I desired…to stay home.   Further down after Paul talks about the role of the Body which Brad spoke on last week we see that he calls believers (verse 10) “to love with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” or as the MSG says, “love from the center of who you are…be good friends who love deeply”.  The NIV says “be devoted to one another”.  Friends, love with genuine affection, from the center of myself, being devoted…these are slow acts.  I think much of community is the slow work of showing up, and my practice in stability allowed me to continue to show up in the hard times.

 Although the season has changed, I still practice stability in my coming.  I now have joy in my getting ready and I look forward to seeing people and worshiping with all of you, but I still need to come in order to practice this.   Community, The Body as Paul talks about cannot be do in isolation.  The Christian life can not be done on our own.  God did not design it that way.  And although we at times it would feel it is easier – it’s not His plan.

The second way I practiced stability was to ask God to grow my awareness of my inner dialogue.  My inner selfish dialogue went something like this, “I mean we have been here a long time, I know many pastors leave sooner”, “maybe its would be the best for the church”, “don’t I deserve better?”, “the glory days are over and now we are left picking up the mess.”  Without God’s help though I just entertained those thoughts…and there were many times I did…but by practicing stability I am staying put for the community.  Most of my inner dialogue had to do with my feelings, evaluations, and intentions.  It wasn’t about this community that God deeply loves. Earlier in Romans 12: 2 Paul says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”  I had wished it said “God will transform you by transforming your community and your environment to order them in a way that is easier and more pleasing to yourself.”  Transformation often needs to come as we allow God to challenge our inner dialogue.

This required me to want to change my thoughts.  Then, as I prayed and asked God to make me aware of them, I could move to allow Him to change them.

So often this awareness came when I would have these thoughts, and then ask God to help me see something else.  I would often say, “God this thought isn’t yours but I need your truth to change it.  Allow my eyes to see something different.” The NIV puts it this way in 2 Corinthians 10:5 ” we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  We have to take the thought captive, and then in God’s goodness He changes our mind.  But friends, let’s be realistic…this takes time.  It’s the slow act of obedience and it’s hard work.  Remember back to Romans 12 :2 “let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  God is going to transform me in part of changing how I think.  Our thoughts matter.  They determine my next steps, and if I had let them rule me, I would have run, which would not have been obedient to what God had told me.  Stability allows us time to practice these things.

The truth was I was sad, and yes, there are times when it’s right to leave, but it’s was not now for me.  In this I had to acknowledge and feel what I was feeling.  If I had run I could have mistakenly believed that I didn’t have to look at the loss and pain I was experiencing.  I also wouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness.  Or to face that this Body isn’t and wasn’t perfect, and in fact, God didn’t promise perfect me to outside of the promise of Heaven.   This practice helped me face my heart and work towards healing.  The Psalmist understood this well in Psalm 94:19 “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”

It was also significant for me to look at my motivations. Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove in his book “the Wisdom of Stablity” says that “the same restlessness that sends us searching for community also keeps us from settling down wherever we are.”  Our motivations keep us looking for the best, easier, most exciting, community and yet “stability is the commitment to trust God not in an ideal world, but in the battered and bruised world we know.”  You see my motivation was to leave pain.  This had me wanting to throw away anything and any one who could hurt me.  But, friends, community in Christ is the dwelling with.  We dwell in our learning, hospitality, listening, forgiving and reconciling.  It’s in the daily task of living with each other.  So again, I’m at tension…I have poor motivation but the call to stay put. I found in this part of my practice I needed you.   I am pretty sure it’s impossible to understanding our motivations separate from a community or a few trusted friends.  We can’t always trust that our motivations are pure.  I needed to talk with a few trusted friends about my feelings of wanting to run, but my call to stay put.  They loved me, and had my best intentions in mind.  They encouraged me…they sat with me in my ‘staying put’.  I am very grateful because they saw that God is still at work in me, and here.  Friends, do you have something you need to ‘stay put’ in?  Who have you invited to keep you company there?

I remember one conversation with Al Thiessen.  He was at our house for some reason and we were talking and he said so matter a fact “Meg you can’t protect your heart.  You will get hurt again, but if your eyes are focused there you will miss the glory God is bring and doing.”  Al spoke from a place of deep knowing, and deep staying put.  He had modelled this for me…and is still modelling this.  See, I think older generations do this much better then we do now.  They realize struggle is inevitable, but community is hard to find.  They also understand that community isn’t about ME, but it’s about God.  By having trusted friends, who challenged my motivations and then sat with me in my staying, others helped me practice stability.

The final way I practiced stability was by asking God to open my eyes to where He was at work here in Jericho.  Friends this meant I had to acknowledge Him, and I had to acknowledge you.  This was full participatory work…and I found it exhausting…and later I also found it hopeful.  You see when we ask God to show us, we have to be willing to look.    There are so many promises of this in scripture:

Jerimaiah 29:13 “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”

Matthew 7:7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

God is here, He hadn’t left, He was still building His church…and He had a plan.  I didn’t understand it or even think it was the best plan… but I’m not God.  For Jesus reminds Peter of this in Matthew 16:18. “I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.”  So, if hell isn’t going to conquer it, nothing is going to stop God from doing what He is and was doing at Jericho.

Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove says that “the trouble, all saints insist is that we can not find stability within ourselves alone” for it “rests on the character of the One who promises’ to love us where we are at.  Faith is a response to that love, rooting us in the full reality of a God who is faithful.”

You see, I needed to see God here, I needed to trust His character and the promises He has for His church.  This is steadfastness.  The psalmist saying in Psalm 51:10 says “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me”.

So what does a steadfast spirit look like to be practiced in a community? I love how Ester de Wall says this

“monastic stability means accepting this particular community, this place and these people, this and no others, as the way to God.  The man or women who voluntarily limits himself to one building and a few acres of ground for the rest of life is saying that contentment and fulfilment do not consist in constant change.” 

I think that often Satan in his cleaver ways tempts us away from steadfastness with boredom or the restlessness that I spoke of earlier.

 I know we aren’t a monastic community, and we live in a time when jobs change, people move….I get that.  I also am aware that there are times when God is clear and the obedient step is to go.  In those seasons the gift of community works the same way, but helping us see our intentions, motivations, and where God is at work.  The practice of stability works to break down my consumerism.  Now…I know you are thinking, ‘easier for you to say Meg, your husband is a pastor’, but I hope you hold that thought in the mirror of what I have already said.  Its hard work…no matter your role.  My stability and our stability is really a response to the promise that says God is faithful and steadfast.

 

 

If stabilities true aim is growth in love of Christ, then our practice of it will naturally move us beyond our own peace and security.  This is because yes, God dearly loves us, but He also dearly loves His Body – the church, and He dearly loves this World. 

Friends, if today you feel helpless, lost, and without this Hope that God brings…then today is going to be a good day.  See…God knew all of this when He sent Jesus.  Jesus walked this broken world, sinless.  In His sinlessness He said “my love for you is so great, and the cost of your sin is so high, that I will take your place”.  I will die for you.  And in that death friends is your hope.  For He says “that whoever believes in Him will have new life”.  Yes, this life will have challenges and struggles like mine has, but it is not without hope.  For His Spirit is with us. The act of obedience for you then today is surrender.  Surrender to this love that knows best, accept the humility, and then receive the hope of someone who is all knowing.  The God who made you, and is there to guide you into a life where hope is not dependant on situations.  It’s a gift ready for you.

 You see we can’t practice stability without Him, for again “stability is the commitment to trust God not in an ideal world, but in the battered and bruised world we know.”   So friends, we have a solid place to place our trust and it’s not in programs, church buildings, or even our friendships within this community.  Our solid trust is in God.  He is here with us – as we focus on our eyes on Him, asking Him to show us where He is at work, we gain His heart and His eyes for this church.  This small congregation in Port Kells and then on the boarder of Surrey. 

Let me tell you where I saw God on some Sunday’s when I was struggling with my practice of stability….I saw Him in the friendly face welcoming me here, even though they were unaware how much I wanted to leave.  I saw Him in the kids that ran around happy to be with their church family.  I saw Him in hot coffee, because God knew that for me, coffee makes everything a bit better.  I saw Him in the faces of those in worship, when I struggled to find that place myself.  I saw Him in Brad as he taught and walked out with confidence where the Lord was guiding us.  Friends, I saw Him here, and I saw Him in you.  And I confess, that I would have left it all.  By God’s grace, His unwavering love that does not give up on me, and through you, I was and am able to practice this pathway of stability.

 

This practice of stability doesn’t only change us…it does through the Holy Spirit change the church.  For as “we are compelled to live in greater truthfulness, serenely experience a proportionately deeper sense of acceptance, and a strong sense of community.” (Michael Cassey) 

We become a community admitting that life together is hard and yet fully confident that this is the way of Jesus.  We welcome others different then us, because as we interact we can see Jesus in them.  The reason for stability?  God is not elsewhere.

 

So friends, I share this inwardly laughing a bit that I am preaching in a season of many transitions.  And yet, I wonder what the invitation He has for you, for us today.  To end I want to do something different…I want you to do two actions.  The first one is to place your hands on your heart.  And when you do this I want you in silence to ask God, “what is there for me in this message today?”  Second, I want us to place our hands out in front and ask “what is there for this church community or a friend today”.  Because church, God is here, inviting us to something.  These things might be different but lets take time and ask Him.  After a moment I have a reflective song to listen and ponder before the worship team comes to close the service.  Remember that if you need someone to be with you in the ‘staying put-ness of life’ our prayer team will be available to pray and stay put alongside you.

 

It is profoundly uncomfortable to stay put and persevere when things get hard but when we do, incredible blessings can come into our lives. When we devote ourselves to one another in love, we learn that “stability is the commitment to trust God not in an ideal world, but in the battered and bruised world we know” (Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove in his book “the Wisdom of Stability”).

Speaker: Meg Sumner

September 30, 2018
Romans 12:10

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