Right Relationships

Well good morning Jericho Ridge Community Church, I want to thank you for having me this morning as we continue your series on Matthew together. 

Today I want to explore the entirety of Matthew chapter 18, but rather than walking through it in a linear fashion, we are going to start in the middle. A few years ago I took a preaching course and decided I would preach on Matthew 18:15-17, which is the passage about how to work through conflict in the church. At the time I associated this passage with “church discipline.” But as I settled in to write this sermon and applied some new exegetical processes, I realized that to understand this passage, one has to read the broader chapter it finds itself in. So today I invite you to join me in the middle of chapter 18, before we head into the whole of Matthew 18.

Our starting text this morning talks about dealing with sin in the church. The interpretation of this text that I was most used to growing up was that if someone has sinned in the church, then it was meant to be addressed with them. If, after repeated and escalating attempts to get them to correct their behaviour, they do not repent, then they are to be removed from the community – excommunicated. 

From my understanding of the world, the steps that are presented follow a natural progression and a natural conclusion – if someone continues to choose to do wrong, ultimately they’ll get what they deserve. The grace of God in this text was the fact that they got more than one chance, but ultimately – if they continued down their destructive path, they were to be like the sinners and tax collectors – outsiders. The other.

At first glance, it seems obvious that Jesus is emphasizing the “otherness” of those two groups – tax collectors and sinners – right? Those are folks who were not liked or approved of in Jesus’ community, so to treat a person as such: with disapproval and the expectation that they should change makes sense. If they do not repent, they are not “in” the community anymore, they have been sent “away.” They got what they deserve.

But first glances often miss a lot of things. Like the fact that Matthew, the author of this gospel, was himself a tax collector. Earlier in chapter 9 Jesus calls Matthew to be a disciple. After this, Jesus goes and eats at Matthew’s house, prompting the Pharisees to question why Jesus is willing to eat with who? To eat with: Tax collectors and sinners. 

In response to the questions of the Pharisees, Jesus says: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Jesus did not come for the righteous but the sinners. 

So we need to question the assumption I made that Matthew 18:15-17 is about casting people away. How Jesus treated the Gentiles and tax collectors invites us to recognize that there should be more effort to my initial interpretation. 

Timothy Geddert writes this on verse 17:

“When every effort fails, we finally have the right to kick them out of the church right? No! Just the opposite – we never seek and are never given the right to dispense with a fallen member.”

Did you get that? “We NEVER seek and are NEVER given the right to dispense with a fallen member.”

Geddert goes on to point out that this final measure – to let them be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector – is a recognition of the person choosing to distance themselves from fellowship, and our goal is now to win them back into the fellowship they were once a part of.

You see, the point of this passage isn’t a roadmap for how to appropriately punish a sinner in your midst. The point of it is a detailed outline of the great lengths that we are called to go to in order to hold on to each other in community.

Perhaps for some of you think this is a lot to assume based on only two verses of this chapter of Matthew, but this is where I bring us back to Matthew as whole – because this smaller passage was key for how I began to understand the whole.

The book of Matthew is all about the kingdom of heaven – helping us understand what it looks like through the life and teachings of Jesus. And so Matthew 18 joins its broader context in giving us insight into the values of the Kingdom.

Let’s walk through it section by section:

Matthew 18:1-5 - When the disciples ask about who the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is, they were likely sourcing this question from their earthly view of “greatness” as prestige and power. The word “great” here comes from the Greek “megas,” which is used as “large” or “wide” – something that takes up more space than other things. Something that is bigger than others. Keeping that in mind, it is noteworthy how Jesus surprises them by suggesting that children are the greatest. This isn’t a pictures of megas. This is a picture of humility and child-likeness.

This is the value of the Kingdom. 

Matthew 18:6-9 – The last section on childlikeness is so important that Jesus goes on to speak of how hard we must work to not cause each other to stumble. He details radical and desperate calls to self-discipline in order to keep and protect others from being led astray by our actions or words. 

This is the value of the Kingdom.

Matthew 18:10-14 – Jesus tells the parable of a shepherd who had 100 sheep. When one wanders away and is lost, the shepherd leaves the rest of them in order to find it and bring it back. In this way, Jesus reveals that God cares so deeply for his flock that he actively pursues even the one that wanders and rejoices at its return. 

This is the value of the Kingdom.

Matthew 18:21-35 - At the end of the chapter, Jesus closes with his expectation on forgiveness – that we be willing to forgive up to 77 times and through the parable of the unmerciful servant, reveals his expectation that when we receive the incredible grace of God through forgiveness, that we in turn are to pass that on to others.

This is the value of the Kingdom.

So keeping this entire chapter in mind, we can see a pattern of how God places immense value on the lives of people, especially those who have experienced a lack of value in their society. God values children and protects them. God pursues those who wander away from him. God invites us to offer seemingly reckless love and grace as modeled by his own. 

And in the middle of the chapter and our start point for today, we can admit that God also calls us to a model of conflict resolution that is bent on a radical pursuit of right relationship within our communities. So we see here, the way that God goes to great lengths in order to hold on to and care for us. 

But in addition to how we see God’s deep valuing of people, another theme emerges from this chapter – that God invites us to deeply value each other in the same way.

Let’s hop back into our starting passage, verses 15-17. Those verses outline the step by step process for how believers can address sin between them. But there is a very important statement made in verse 15, which reads: “if another believer sins against you, go and show them their fault, just between the two of you, If they listen, you have regained that one.” You have regained that one.

This is the purpose statement for the whole process. So often the purpose has been assigned to the process itself and the end result that may come about. But the purpose is actually to regain that one. 

The purpose of each step is to try to make that step the last one, because if it is, you have successfully regained that person.

Notice that it doesn’t say: “if the member listens to you, you have correctly punished that one” or “you have scolded them adequately.” It says: you have regained that one.

Sound familiar? 

The parable of the lost sheep is found in the verses just before this section on resolving sin, and it depicts a noteworthily similar purpose.

Though the majority (99 out of 100 in fact) of the sheep remain in the fold, God unreservedly will pursue the 1 that has left in order to regain that one. 

God’s heart desires that all be found. All be returned to the fold under his care.

To be honest, it can be difficult to understand how beautiful this parable is. As someone who grew up in a Christian home, attended church, Sunday School, youth group, and camps – I was very familiar with it. But when this story became my story, I discovered how powerful the love of God is in a new way. 

More years ago than I care to admit, I was a student on CMU’s Outtatown program – a discipleship and travel program that spent one semester in western Canada and one semester abroad- in Guatemala in my case. 

I have had a long journey with mental illness, specifically depression, and while I was on this Bible school year I was in one of my lowest places, not yet familiar with how to navigate such a low.

And so on one particularly difficult evening, as my community was gathered together for a worship night in the chapel of the camp we were staying at, I found myself alone by choice in the dining hall, wallowing in the dark mood that had taken me. While the other 33 people from my team were together, I sat apart, crying and journaling, isolating myself from connection.

It was into this space that a boy came into the dining hall and asked me where the chapel was. He was the son of our speaker for the week, and he didn’t know where to go. Frustrated by being interrupted, I gave him directions – just walk out the door and walk the main path until you find the only building with lights on and music playing. But he still couldn’t find it. So begrudgingly I got up and brought him to the chapel.

When I approached the space I was overcome with the need to enter it. Though I had resisted it and tried to stay away, now that I was near by I knew I needed to come in. To rejoin my community. To be cared for by the people who loved me. 

And in that space was planted a seed of healing that, as it grown over the year, became a hope for me in my mental health journey that has lasted to this day. 

When I look back on this story, I see a lonely, lost, and despairing sheep in myself. And I see God, coming to find me in order to bring me back to himself. 

To regain me. And I am forever grateful. 

God’s heart desires that all be found. All be returned to the fold under his care.

And God’s heart is for us to care for each other in a similar fashion. 

The greatest in the kingdom of heaven are the children – those whom the society of Jesus had stripped of power or status. God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same.

The welcome and protection of the children that Jesus focuses on is then a priority. They are so valuable and important that the text is clear that we should avoid being the source of their harm or abuse at all costs. God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same.

The one sheep being sought after and regained highlights God’s heart for all to be in the fold, and creates a space where every person is wanted. Though Jesus did not include this in the parable of the lost sheep, I would argue that the 99 who remain are invited to join God in that rejoicing, because the lost one has been returned to them too. God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same.

When the disciples ask Jesus where they should put a limit on forgiveness, he reveals how abundant the grace we are called to is, because of how radical the grace we have received is. God invites us to accept grace and to extend it outward. God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same.

In our world we get caught up in ideas like “they get what they deserve,” which summarizes how I once understood verse 15-17 and how churches deal with conflict. But “they get what they deserve” is a motto for our world. Society fixates on the economy of earning money. Respect. Status. Prestige. From our words and actions we are endlessly working to earn our “reward.”

Similarly though, for our faults, mistakes, and missteps – we also earn our punishments – though in reality neither our reward or punishments are ever consistently equal to what we have done, nor are the rewards equal among those toiling for them.

And yet we the people of this world continue to try to get ahead. To earn the next thing. To get what we deserve.

But the GOOD NEWS this is not the kingdom of heaven.

The kingdom of heaven desperately desires the created people of God to enter in and remain. 

The kingdom of heaven values each person. It values humility, integrity, and grace. It offers us forgiveness in abundance, and invites us to in turn offer that in abundance to those around us.

The kingdom of heaven is a picture of a community so dedicated to the love of God and neighbour that in the challenges of sin and conflict, the regaining of each person is considered the most important thing.

Jesus calls tax collectors and sinners to him. Jesus elevates women in a society that has devalued them. Jesus invites us to take lessons from children. Jesus brings healing to people’s bodies and souls. Jesus repeatedly reaches out, valuing mercy not sacrifice – calling the sinners to him, regaining each person through his love and grace.

As we can see from our chapter of focus today, the task of drawing people into the loving presence of Jesus is important. Important enough to have hard conversation. Important enough to devote time and energy to the process of regaining that person. And important enough to continue to pursue them even if they choose to step away from community.

God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same.

As you exist as a community of believers, and I join you from Manitoba – let us all be reminded that we have entered this place through the grace of God. In all of the things we do, including how we see children, discipline ourselves to not harm others, value the one person returning to the group of 99, speak to each other when there’s sin and conflict, or offer radical forgiveness, may we be reminded that God deeply values people, and invites us to do the same. 

Amen.