January 28, 2018

Jericho Ridge

Fear Not

“Anxiety within Authentic Community”

Focus: How does the church care for people with mental illness, and in particular, anxiety?

Anxiety outside Authentic Community

It was a typical Saturday morning in our household … April 21, 2012 to be exact.

• We had finished breakfast and I was standing at our kitchen sink loading up the dishwasher.
• We were living in our previous house in Sullivan.
• Our kids were 6 and 4 years old.
• Sylvia and I had been married almost 13 years.
• We were both employed; I was pastoring at Living Hope Christian Fellowship in Surrey.
• Ministry was going well, as we were starting up a new campus in our neighbourhood.
• I’d been pastoring since 1990 so this wasn’t my first rodeo (as the saying goes).
• Life was “normal.”

• But that Saturday morning as I was doing dishes, I remember staring out the kitchen window and saying, “I can’t do this any more.”
• “What?” Sylvia said, “you can’t do the dishes any more?”
• “No”, I said, “I can’t do this life any more.”
• And with that, my head dropped, and I broke.

• A mental breakdown(also known as a nervous breakdown) is an acute, time-limited mental disorder that manifests primarily as severe stress-induced depression þ, anxiety þ, or dissociation þ in a previously functional individual, to the extent that they are no longer able to function on a day-to-day basis until the disorder is resolved.

• I had a mental breakdown.
• What? An educated professional, a pastor, a spiritual leader in the community … ssshhh, don’t tell anyone.

I shared much of my story when we came to Jericho, including my abduction and abuse at age 7, and my subsequent 40 years of dissociation from that traumatic event.

• Even though that traumatic childhood event was at the root of my breakdown that Saturday morning in 2012, that’s not necessarily what I want to focus on this morning … but you are more than welcome to join me for a coffee and talk specifics and healing, etc.
• On Saturday, April 21, 2012, hunched over & crying in my kitchen, I really had no idea that what happened to me at age 7 was even true, let alone related.
• The only thing I knew that morning was that my life and my ability to control/manage the world of me, my wife and 2 kids, was disintegrating.
• I couldn’t keep my world all together anymore.
• I was having a mental breakdown that morning and it signalled a chain of symptoms, including depression, fear, intense/relentless anxiety, panic attacks…
• In fact, one panic attack landed me in the Peace Arch Cardiac unit for 5 days because me and the doctors thought I was having a heart attack.
• Final diagnosis after all the tests – likely a panic attack … remedy – exercise more and take Ativan as needed.

Two weeks off work turned into 2 months of medical/stress leave.

• And during that time, the church left me alone to rest and recoup.
• But the unspoken message seemed to be, “We don’t really know what to do for you, so please go get fixed and come back when you are better.”
• And eventually I did start to feel a bit better, and I convinced myself that I could go back to work, even though I hadn’t really done anything to address what was wrong.
• I lasted a few days at work and then I crashed even harder.

In the weeks that followed, Sylvia had the courage to show me “tough love”, my mom backed her, and I finally agreed to go back to the Peace Arch emergency.

• But this time, I was fearfully going to admit that something was mentally/emotionally/psychologically wrong.
• And I ended up checking myself into the southwest corner of the 5^th floor of Peace Arch Hospital … the Psychiatric unit.

• Other than my immediate family, and some church leaders, I don’t think anyone else knew I was there.
• No one came to visit.
• My anxiety kept me awake at night, “What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I need to get out of here. I’m all alone.”
• And on top of that I’d hear that unspoken message by my church, “Go away, get fixed, come back when you are better.”

Earlier in the year, when my church/friends found out that I was in the cardiac unit at Peace Arch, they understood the possible diagnosis and they knew what to do for me and my family.

• They rallied around us with meals for Sylvia/kids.
• They visited me often and prayed – God had me/this.
• The message was clear and I felt very cared for.

Now, with a “mind problem,” a mental health issue, my church/ friends didn’t really know what to say or do.

• Granted, part of that was on me, because I didn’t know what to do either, or what to tell them.
• I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on.
• But there was also that unspoken message I was getting, “We don’t know what to do for you, so go somewhere, get help and come back when you are fixed.”
• Some in leadership even suggested that I come back, but just not as a pastor any more (I was damaged goods).
• I had dedicated my life to serving in the church and I believed that the Gospel was a message of healing and restoration for every person in every circumstance.
• But now it seemed that no one knew how to apply it to me in my situation.

I’ve pastored in 4 churches prior to Jericho, and each church has had a written statement or value around living in community.

• And each of the churches was good at caring for people’s physical and spiritual needs.
• But truth be told, not one was prepared to care for people with mental hurts/needs like depression, fear or anxiety.
• For things like that, the church generally doesn’t seem to know what to do, and so we compartmentalize and off-load.
• We say that’s not our area of expertise and we send people out to seek professional help for those things.
• And friends, please, do not hear what I am not saying … we need these professionals!
• God used two mental health professionals to change my life and I will introduce you to one in just a moment.

But first, why share this part of my story?

• I share this part of my story to highlight the church’s inadequacy/failure when it compartmentalizes people into body, or mind, or spirit.
  • “Oh, that’s a physical need – I know what to do.”
  • “Oh, that’s a spiritual need – I know what to say.”
  • “Oh, that’s a mental need – uh, I’m uncomfortable and I don’t know what to say or do.”

• Scripture tells us that God created us in his image: wholly as body, mind and spirit.
• Scripture also tells us that since the fall of humanity, we as people are broken: there isn’t an aspect of our being body, mind or spirit that doesn’t need healing/restoration.
• And yet, I think the church takes a “pass” when it comes to mental health.
• Interestingly, it’s the mind that is highlighted in the story of the fall in Genesis 3:7, “they knew that they were naked … and they felt ashamed”
• And from that point forward, the Bible lays out God’s plan to redeem us body, mind and spirit.
• Romans 12:1-2

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies (body/physical) to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. (spirit/spiritual) ² Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (mind/mental)

• And yet, it is painfully evident that as Christians, as the church, we have compartmentalized and largely off-loaded the “renewing of the mind” from our healing repertoire when it comes to issues of mental health.
• We farm that out to the professionals … and again, we need the professionals.
• But friends, they also need us as God’s people to wholly bring (mental) healing into people’s lives.

Whenever you are dealing with depression, fear, anxiety, be it acute or chronic, three facets are always in play: the physical, the mental, and the spiritual.

• You cannot address one and ignore the others.
• If you compartmentalize those three and try to treat one as separate from the others, you will not experience healing to the extent that God has for you.

• As God’s people/the church, we are called to attend to all three in each other: body, mind, spirit.
• At Jericho Ridge, like most churches, we are very good at attending to physical and spiritual needs.
• How are we doing at attending to the mental health needs that exist in our church family?
• What do you do when you can’t bring healing in the form of a lasagna or a prayer for someone?

When I tried to go back to work for a couple of weeks in the summer of 2012, I vividly remember the look of my closest pastor/friend on staff…

• …it was one of, “you aren’t well and I have no idea what to do for you.”
• And my interpretation of that look was, “you need to turn around, the church has nothing for you on this one, so get some help and come back when you are better.”

• As one of God’s people, I never wanted to experience that feeling again for myself or towards anyone else.
• No one should find the Church inadequate or ill-equipped to attend to a person’s brokenness, be it physical, spiritual or mental.
• And it starts with:
  • teaching (highlight Brad’s sermon)
  • awareness
  • signalling that it’s okay to ask for help.
• Which is why in our “Fear Not,” series, we included last week’s message on “the spiritual roots of fear” and this morning’s personal sharing around fear/anxiety.

Anxiety within Authentic Community

I said earlier that God used two mental health professionals in particular to change my life … and one of them is here today.

• I first met Michelle on the 5^th floor of Peace Arch Hospital.
• If you’ve never been (patient or visitor), the doors to the Psychiatric unit are locked to keep patients in, but I felt that they were also locked to keep people out.
• I felt cut off … my people, my family, my church was on the other side of those doors.
• Because the people of God are so integral to my life, I felt very alone.
• Michelle is a follower of Jesus & an Occupational Therapist who became “church” for me when my church couldn’t.

• I was blessed and privileged to work with her in the hospital, then privately afterwards … and now I get to call her friend.
• When the church wasn’t able to care for me … when it had no idea what to do with my fear and anxiety, God knew that he had a strategic and gifted disciple ready to meet me in the most unlikely of places.
• “Where two or three are gathered, there I am,” says God, even in the secure/locked Psychiatric Unit of a hospital.

After working with Michelle and also some group therapy, and then more therapy with a gifted trauma counselor in Tsawwassen, I did experience God’s grace and healing.

• And God chose to place me back into positions of ministry.
• I try to be open with the fact that the mental effects persist:
  • I remain on anti-depressants
  • I am still prone to fear-based living (Brad’s sermonþ)
  • I haven’t had a panic attack in over three years,
  • But I know that anxiety still lurks.
• And at the same time, yes, “God’s grace” is sufficient for me today (that’s a whole other story … a life-long pastor who first experiences grace at the age of 47)
• So I’m relatively new on this part of my journey (1.5 years of critical, 1.5 years of stable and 3 years of relative health).
• But that one thing still bothers me … “where was “church” in my critical and even stable stages?”
• “Go get help and come back when you are better.”
• I’m sorry friends, that just doesn’t cut it … the church/we can do better than that.

I firmly believe that the church is God’s chosen and appointed entity to not only proclaim that healing/redemption from brokenness is available through Jesus, but to actually enact that message in practical/caring ways.

• So to compartmentalize life and place certain aspects of life outside our realm of comfort and willingness to affect … that is not what the Scriptures point us to.

Here’s what Jericho Ridge says about doing life together and on mission as God’s church.

• As I highlight these statements, I want you to think about people’s physical, spiritual and mental needs.
• Our Membership Covenant:
  • As Church leaders, we covenant, with the help of the HS to do the following:

#4. We commit to helping you in times of need

• As a member of Jericho Ridge, I covenant, with the help of the HS, to the following:

#11. I will strive to support the local body of Christ here at Jericho Ridge through the general giving of my financial resources, regular prayer for and hospitality towards other, and willingness to show compassion and meet expressed needs.

• Our Core Values:
  • Authentic Community: we give each other permission not to pretend.

…when one part is impacted, the entire body feels the ripple effect. This means that we will choose to share life with each other so we can edify and support each other as well (Acts 2:42-47; 1 John 4:19).

• Friends, how do we live this out when the need pertains to our minds, our mental state?
• When depression, fear or anxiety gain the upper hand in a person’s life, it’s not good enough for me to stare blankly at them and say, go get some professional help and then come back.
• I (and Pastor Brad), refuse to fall into the temptation of compartmentalizing what God, the Gospel, and God’s people can affect in a person physically, spiritually and mentally.