Advent: Practicing Imperfect Hospitality

    Dec 15, 2018 | by Meg Sumner

    Glossy magazines line the checkouts aisle with headlines that read: “Serve the perfect meal for Christmas”, or “How to wrap amazing gifts”.  The Food Network plays Christmas specials showing us how to properly entertain so as to wow your guests.   It can be inspiring and also completely overwhelming!  The expectations of perfection is a lot to hold, especially when our role models for hospitality are people like Martha Stewart or Bobby Flay!

    Martha Stewart creates a beautiful environment with delicious food for friends and family.  I am sure they will have beautiful table settings and likely a little gift for each one to take home.  Many of us will be opening our homes and our lives this season so is there a vision of hospitality that Jesus calls us to and how might this compares to the vision offered by Martha Stewart? 

    Jesus entered another Martha’s house in Luke 10:38-42.  This Martha was busy trying to make her home and food just perfect for the special guest she had visiting.  (Gosh, doesn’t this sound familiar?)  Out of love, Martha rushed around so much that she was not able to be present with the very people in her home!  Jesus, in a kind, grace -filled way, invited Martha to a better way by saying, “my dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

    Take a minute and think of someone from whom you have received hospitality…  What was so meaningful or memorable?  It likely wasn’t the décor or the fancy food, although those things can be a way of showing care.  Most likely it was comfy conversation, unrushed time offered, hot coffee poured in love, or simply a place to be yourself.  Offering someone a grilled cheese sandwich with a desire to grow a friendship is holy!  It’s no more or less holy than if it was a five-star meal in a perfectly kept house.  

    Henri Nouwen defines hospitality as “primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. . . Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the lifestyle of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find [their] own.”  In other words, Christian hospitality is not about perfection, it is about being open and available to others. 

    This makes me think of the verse in Matthew 25:35-36 where Jesus says, “I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.  I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.”  

    This Advent season let’s ask “are we welcoming Christ and making room for those He loves or have I gotten focused on the perfect table setting?   How can I slow down like Mary did to see who might be really blessed by genuine hospitality?”

    Remember, hospitality more a posture then an event. It’s a willingness to be open with others and attentive to their needs.   There really is no pressure to be Martha Stewart or Bobby Flay; although a plate of cookies is always welcome!

     A PRAYER:

    Dear Lord,

    Help me to create hospitable places

    Not only for those who are family

    but also for those who are suffering

    Let my home be a place where people can lay down their burdens

    and find rest for their weary souls.

    Enlarge my heart so there will be room for their frustration,

    their confusion, their anger.

    Help me to show hospitality to the stranger with unbearable pain,

    knowing that some, in doing so, have entertained angels.

    Help me to make room in my heart for my own suffering,

    a stable for my confusion,

    a manger for my tears,

    and swaddling cloths for the heavenly Gift

    that labors to be born there.

     - Meg Sumner is a Spiritual Director in-training. This reflection is part 3 of her 2018 Advent series.     

    Prayer is adapted from the book "The North Face of God" by Ken Gire, p. 31

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