April 15, 2018

JRCC

Song of Songs

“Marriage, Mutuality & Mystery”

Text: Song of Songs

Focus: Love in the Song of Songs

Love Letters

Who here as written or received a “love letter”?

• “When I was young…”
• There’s probably no better way when your kids are present, to start a conversation on the topic of sexuality and love than by saying, “When I was young and in love…” (Lol).
• My kids love it when we start conversations with those words … let alone a conversation on love and sex!

• Nevertheless, back in the day, love letters were the primary way of expressing feelings (no emojis, online dating…).
• Throughout history, for the vast majority of people, love poems/letters were the soundtrack of our young lives…
• …they were the universal language of love for centuries.

• In fact, the oldest known love letter is a Sumerian text titled “The Love Song for Shu-Sin” … and it’s from 2000 BC.
• That predates Solomon by about 1000 years.
• Maybe that’s why the Song of Songs has historically been one of, if not the most theologized and preached on books of the Bible … because it’s a love letter that connects with some of our innermost feelings and desires.

And yet, in recent history (our generations), the church has pushed the Song of Songs to an arms length.

• We’ve struggled with why this poetic collection of love letters is in the Bible?!
• Seriously, I can count the number of sermons I have heard preached on this book on one hand.
• And it was all about how this book was an allegorical picture with deep spiritual meaning … it confused me!

• Which is odd that this is our experience of the Song of Songs … because in conservative church culture, marriage was expected, desired, normative … and you would assume that with that would come romance, intimacy, sex.
• But the most intimate, romantic, sexual text, the Song of Songs, was/is unwelcome on Sunday mornings.
• Sex wasn’t a topic for the worship gathering, unless we were being reminded to save it for marriage because of how horribly destructive it would otherwise be in our lives.
• Sex was at the top of the danger list of things we were “just supposed to say no” to … along with alcohol, drugs, dancing and swimming in 2 piece bathing suits.

And yet, here in the middle of Scripture, we have these explicit love letters by two people who may or may not be married.

• In fact, theologian Dawn Gentry argues that the Song of Songs is meant to show us a love that is not necessarily connected with marriage or procreation, as opposed to some parts of the OT, which view marriage as contracts of ownership and women as breeders.
• Or as theologian Robert Jenson agrees, “Indeed, the description of these young lovers is offered with no reticence, moral judgment, or great deference to legal or social constraints.”
• What they are saying is that the Song of Songs is what it is … it’s love letters that simply delight in physical beauty and sexual attraction … it’s not a marriage-how-to-manual with a list of sex do’s & don’ts…
• …it’s simply a celebration of an incredible aspect of who we are created to be in the image of God.
• And that’s why so many twentieth century preachers have marginalised its content … because that one aspect that it deals with, is our sexuality!
• And as more than one pre-teen/teenager was heard to comment last Sunday to their parents, “this is awkward … can I leave.”
• We have come to believe that sex and God don’t mix!

But friends, here it is!!! (hold up the Bible)

• Its very presence in the Bible, and as Pastor Brad spoke about last Sunday, its healthy emphasis on mutual, pleasurable sex in connection with who we are and who our Creator is … is worth our attention, whether you are single or married.

• In fact, I will say that you won’t, you can’t, wait until you are married to begin to think about sex and sexuality.
• This isn’t just a married person’s conversation.
• Getting married doesn’t somehow flip a sexuality switch that “turns on” the passionate love described in the Song of Songs … no, that happens to us during puberty.
• If you are young and/or single, we are failing you if we are simply saying, “just don’t do it until your married” and then you’ll figure it out.
• That kind of approach does not prepare anyone to fully engage and enjoy healthy, pleasurable sex within marriage.

Friends, it’s time that we as a church correct the extremes that so many of us have experienced of “fiercely repressing” or “blindly obeying” the desire to have sex.

• And the Song of Songs can help us understand that there is a better way.
• There is a way that helps us accept the body we have as God designed it, so that we can fully appreciate the body we share with our spouse, and have God at the centre of it all.
• This ancient text does have something to teach us bout how to redeem love and sexuality in our fallen culture/world.

So let’s look at some of the ways it does this. Now I’m assuming that you’ve read the book … and have come to grips with it being a set of poetic, explicit love letters … from there, we can ask God, why (why include it) & what (what do you want me to learn)

Mutuality – A Reversal of the Curse

The first clear redemptive move that leaps off the pages of the Song of Songs is the profound mutuality between lovers.

• The mutuality between these lovers in contrast to the fall and punishment of Genesis 3 should inform how we think and live out our biblical relationships, sexuality and marriage.
• As was said earlier, in the Song of Songs “love has its end in itself”, it is not merely a tool for procreation, and it is definitely not an act of power/authority/dominance.
• These two lovers have an “alliance” and live in a “free and reciprocal face-to-face relationship where they alternate taking the initiative … they are celebrating a mutual give & take relationship.”
• Theologian Marvin Pope says it well, “Their mutuality leaves no room for male dominance, female subordination, or stereotyping of either sex. These two lovers share a mutual connection, desire and love, which excludes subordination.”

Theses poetic letters can point us back to the Creation account where God “created humankind in his image … male and female he created them” … He blessed them and told them to have sex/multiply and He gave them both dominion over the earth (Gen. 1:26-27) … after that He proclaimed that “it was very good” (Gen. 1:31).

• Mutual sexuality was celebrated by Adam and Eve without shame … and friends that is a biblical vision to which you and I and every couple can aspire to.
• As you read the Song of Songs, let it draw a reflective picture of Adam and Eve, mutual lovers in God’s garden without shame…
• …and without the punishment/curse of the fall…
• In Genesis 3:16, as a result of the fall, we are told that the man will rule over the woman…
• But throughout Song of Songs (7:10) we see language in which they mutually desire and submit to each other.
• Man and woman together in full mutuality … erasing that part of the curse that came with the exile from Eden.

Friends, you cannot understand Genesis 1 or Song of Songs fully without reading them in tandem.

• The love relationship in the Song of Songs has a correlation … it’s a sign post back to the Garden of Eden and a proclamation of the redeeming power of love.
• Theologian Athalya Brenner says, “In this garden, gender, inequality, together with material and social conflicts between the sexes, pale into significance.”
• The Song of Songs describes a reality of existence that we can aspire to.
• If we want to lean into God’s redemption of creation and humanity, rather than concede defeat to the fall, the message of mutuality in the Song of Songs is absolutely good news.

Mystery – A Return to Intimacy

Another way love and marriage are redeemed through the message of the Song of Songs is through the mystery of intimacy.

• Today, most scholars have moved away from the allegorical interpretation of the book to a more straightforward reading of the text … its poetic letters between lovers.
• But for centuries, it was viewed exclusively as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church (or God’s love for Israel).

• I don’t think that we need to throw that history of interpretation completely away.
• Yes, this is a collection of love poems between two lovers.
• But it also paints another picture of meaning for us that points us to the grand narrative of Scripture.
• The truth is, we know and experience God’s love for us because we know and experience human/physical love … and vice versa.
• It’s within the reality of human love that the reality of divine love is revealed.
• If we remove that element from the Song of Songs, then all we have is semi-erotic poems that don’t really fit into the Biblical narrative.
• On the other hand, if what we read is only an allegory of Christ’s love for the church, then we miss out on experiencing who we are as sexual beings.
• We really do need to have both interpretations working together to realize the fullness/beauty/power of this book.
• In other words, sex can grow us in our understanding of God’s love, and God’s love can grow/enhance our sexuality.

For those who are married, we can experience this mysterious equation where 1 + 1 doesn’t = 2 … it can somehow equal 1.

• We are privileged to experience this mystery of how a sexual encounter with our spouse can move us closer to God.
• And that mystery is beautifully illustrated by the lovers’ celebration in the Song of Songs of a love so intense that it has a divine element to it.
• The love in the Song of Songs is simultaneously natural and spiritual.

• Again, it points us back to the Garden of Eden, where Adam & Eve lived naked as sexual beings (“multiplying”) in the very presence of God (without shame).
• And in the NT texts on marriage, this same emphasis of unashamed unity between husband & wife & God is reinforced.
• For example, Ephesians, emphasizes unity and oneness … husband and wife are one flesh … marriage is painted right alongside the church with the same call to work together.
• It’s a picture of one being/entity … of unity.
• And the Song of Song’s poetry beautifully reflects this mystery of oneness/unity between lovers both physically/sexually and spiritually with their Creator.
• Their intimacy in the presence of their Creator held no shame.

Marriage – A Reflection of God’s Love

You see, the mystery of married love through sexual intimacy can help us understand the depth of love that God has for us.

• Even though we can’t fully know the scope of God’s love for us in this present reality, our sexuality does play a helpful/important role in pulling back that divine curtain.
• And again, vice versa, God’s love for us helps us know “truth” about the love we share with our marriage partner.
• Even if painful memories or unhealthy relationships sometimes blur/overshadow its benefits, our sexuality is an important factor in “knowing/experiencing” love in our marriages as God intended.
• Our sexuality is an essential part of being human and we need to reclaim that from a society that is scandalously misappropriating it and we need to re-integrate it into our conversation and our practical theology as a church.
• Sexuality and marriage is divine territory … it is a holy creation for a holy purpose.
• It is one of the ways that we can embody the reality of being created in the image of God, male and female.
• Our willingness to redeem sexuality and marriage from society’s misuse and abuse can allow God’s love to be reflected through us into the lives of others.

Now, in order to move toward this goal and reflect God’s love in our marriages, daily self-sacrifice has to enter the equation.

• Maybe instead of saying 1 + 1 = 1, we should say -1 + -1 = 1.
• Paul talks about this in Philippians 2:4-7, as love that “looks to the interests of others” … as “emptying oneself.”

• Friends, marital intimacy can’t happen without repeated self-less movement toward one another … an ongoing practice of self-giving love and vulnerability is what builds oneness…
• …and it takes years of choosing “the other” in all areas of our lives for this to happen.
• It’s in the life-long process that we begin to realize that not all longings and desires are meant to be fulfilled … nor is our spouse meant to live up to the unrealistic expectation of meeting our every need.
• Even in the Song of Songs (3:2, 5:6), the young lover goes out and looks and doesn’t find.
• Marriage does not complete us, contrary to what “Jerry McGuire” and romantic Hollywood propaganda wanted us to believe.
• No! Our marriages serve as a testing ground to help us become more like Christ as we lay down our lives in our daily choices for the one we love.

I don’t know about you (and I hope I don’t surprise my wife by saying this) but my marriage is imperfect and incomplete…

• …it doesn’t complete me or Sylvia.
• …it hasn’t saved us from our sinfulness or from the sins perpetrated against us.

• But it does have this amazing capacity to unveil the love of God, which He perfected and completed in Christ’s sacrifice for my spouse and me.

• And Song of Songs, signals for us through its garden imagery that the curse has been reversed and the divine intimacy of Eden can be regained in Christ.
• We can, without shame, embrace mutuality, mystery and intimacy in our marriages.
• My daily decisions to put my spouse before me are actually a participation in the prayer/truth “thy kingdom come”.
• It demonstrates/manifests the perfect, faithful love of God, which never fails and is always coming!

Friends, God is still the same Creator that Adam & Eve walked naked with in the Garden of Eden!

• He is still in the business of making all things new!
• And the Song of Songs, situated between Genesis and Revelation is an incredible/powerful reminder of this.

If you haven’t already,  take 10 minutes and read this amazing book through the lenses of mutuality, mystery, marriage.

• If you are married, read it together … talk about it, pray about it …
• …ask God what He has for you, “Why God, when it comes to me as a sexual being or us as married couple, did you put this set of love poems in the Bible?”
• See what God has for you … after all, he created you, male and female he created you … and he said it was very good.