Forgive Us As We Forgive Others

“IF You Forgive…”
 Message @ Jericho Ridge Community Church –Sunday, Feb 19, 2017
Text: Matthew 6:14-15 // Series: Pray Like This

In High school, I played basketball.  Here’s a photo of our team from the early 90s.  The Saints. I was the worst player on the team.  Some of the kids went on to play college ball, and long after I graduated, some of the later members of that team went on to play in the NBA for the Raptors.  But me, I warmed the bench most of the time.  I was good at taking charges which is where you stand your ground and get knocked over by a member of the offensive team as they charge down the court.  Then they get the foul and your team gets the ball.  So every now and then that was my role – to get knocked over in the hopes that our team could get the ball back.  Because the only other way to really stop a really tall guy is either what a change OR a taller guy who can shot block effectively. 

I want to point out something in this photo that you may not notice – that’s me in the back row (apparently I didn’t think to bring my uniform for picture day) but look at the height differential between myself and the other guys in the back row.  I mean, come on!  No wonder I didn’t get a shot off!  Those guys would block it like they do in the NBA! (Photo of SHOT BLOCK).

The reason I dug into the archives and bring this up is being in the gym and this image of shots being blocked got me thinking about the question “What kinds of things might ‘block’ or hinder your prayers?” Do you ever feel like you’re praying and praying and boom! You prayers never quite get off the mark

One of the challenges of prayer is that it can be hard to swallow that my prayers might be blocked or unanswered NOT because God is reluctant, BUT because of attitudes, actions in my own heart.  Sometimes unanswered prayers say much less about God and His character than they do about me and my character. 

Here at Jericho, we’re in a season where we are focused on learning how to pray.  Whether you’ve been at this for 65 years or have prayed for a grand total of 6.5 minute in your life, or if you remain unconvinced that God exists and hears us when we pray, we invite you to join us as we explore what it means to have a vibrant conversation with God.  We’re centring our times together around what is perhaps the most famous prayer in history, the Lords’ Prayer, which can be found in Matthew 6.  In that passage, Jesus’ followers approach him and ask “could you please teach us how to pray and what to pray about” and Jesus graciously obliges them and says very directly and specifically “Pray Like This”. 

We’ve been exploring each phrase of the Lord’s Prayer reminding ourselves that this isn’t like a mantra, but it is more like a model, helping us think about what and how to pray as we approach our conversations with God. 

We’re close to the end now…  We have our phrase today and then only one more which we will tackle in two weeks.  So grab your Bible and head over to Matthew 6 where Jesus says “Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.”

So we’ve been unpacking these phrases one by one and today we come to the only phrase that Jesus cares to elaborate more on.  It’s the only phrase that is repeated or picked up again and that happens immediately following the prayer.  In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus continues and says:

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 BUT if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

In other words, your shot might be blocked by unforgiveness – not because God doesn’t desire and extend forgiveness to you but because you refuse to extend it to others.  That’s how seriously God takes relationships!  If you or I refuse to forgive another person when they have wronged us, that blocks the flow of Divine mercy into your life or mine. 

We see this concept in other places in the Bible…  That there are choices and actions that you can make that will hinder, or Things that will Block Your Prayers.  Can you think of any?  Here’s a list of 4 that I could think of this week.  

(1) Unforgiveness / Disunity in your Marriage

You see, sin is relational in nature.  It’s not about breaking some impersonal rule; it’s about damaging a relationship.  And so it stands to reason that if you harbour unforgiveness in your most intimate relationship, that’s a bad thing!  Look at I Peter 3:7 in the Message

• “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them… In the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.” I Peter 3:7 (The Message)

The image here is that if you don’t work together with a spirit of deep forgiveness and honour and mutuality, then you create the conditions where, when you wrong each other – and let’s be honest – it’s not an if, it’s a when we hurt each other – that unforgiveness can take root.  “Well she’s the one always overspending and running up the Visa!” But you didn’t sit down and agree on a budget together like she asked you to.  Don’t let unforgiveness run you aground in your marriage.  If there are areas where one of you need to do a better job of honouring the other, name it.  Work on it.  Don’t let disunity block your prayers!  

Second thing that the Bible says can clearly block your prayers…

(2) Harbouring Unconfessed Sin(s)

Do you ever feel like as you get into prayer God brings something – an area of your life that is off kilter or a conversation where you didn’t speak the truth fully or a person that you harbour resentment toward – to your mind and you think “naw, I’m just here to talk to you about ME and my needs.  I’m not interested in revisiting that relationship or that area of unforgiveness!”  Psalm 66:18 says

• “If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” Psalm 66:18

Do you want God to listen to your prayers?  Work at keeping a clean slate.  One of the books that I like, guys, on prayer is called Prayer Coach.  The author Jim Nicodem, writes from an athletic perspective and he uses a little acronym for prayer that I find useful.  He says prayer is like a CHAT.  The C is for confession.  You start here because you want to make sure there is nothing in your way.  A simple prayer saying “God, is there anything I need to deal with as we start?”  Then H is for honour, A is for ask and T is for thanking God.  CHAT.  You might want to try that this week… We’ll talk more about how to process this later on.  But for now, recognize that both at an individual level and also at a corporate or national level, the notion of continuing in a known pattern of sin, blocks your payers.  Look at what God says to the nation of Israel in Isaiah 59:2… 

• “It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore.” Isaiah 59:2

So unforgiveness in your marriage, unconfessed sins… The third thing that can block your prayers you may not think of immediately.  That is 

(3) Complicit Participation in Injustice

All through the Bible, God indicates that He has a special place in His heart for widows and orphans and those who are oppressed and on the margins.  One of the most under-assessed places where your prayers might be blocked is in how you treat people who are poor. Look at what God says through the prophet Isaiah

• “When you lift up your hands in prayer, I will not look. Though you offer many prayers, I will not listen, for your hands are covered with the blood of innocent victims. 16 Wash yourselves and be clean! Get your sins out of my sight. Give up your evil ways. 17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.”

Seek justice.  Help the oppressed.  Then when you lift up your hands in prayer, I will listen and hear you.  This is one thing I love about this church is that there is a shared heart for people in places like Guatemala.  I want to honour Curtis and Sue Cottrell and their family and Tammy Smethurst and the many others who for the past 10 years have worked to help widows and orphans and people with disabilities in places like Guatemala.  I want to honour Peter Ash and those who work in Tanzania brining justice to persons with albinism who are oppressed. 

I want to honour Lorne Epp and the work he does in leading More Than a Roof in providing supportive housing to those on the margins of our society.  I want to honour Wendy who faithfully looks out for Alice Dorozio, our senior saint here at Jericho.  I want to honour those of you who have supported Dustin and Josh and Savannah well and will continue to do so.  When you help those who are in need, you are working close to the heart of God.  And on the flip side, watch out!  If you heart toward people who are poor grows cold and hard and the full sum of your financial resources and your time begins to turn inward on your own life and your needs and wants and vacations, you may be in danger of becoming complicit in injustice.  And God does not hear the prayers of those who have no heart for helping the oppressed and the downtrodden.  We have been entrusted with much, and so much will be required of us.  That’s why we give away 10% of our annual budget off the top here at Jericho to global projects and people to help alleviate injustice in the world.  That’s a sermon in itself so I’ll move on. 

Last item that will block or hinder your prayers is    

(4) Active Disobedience to God’s Voice

If you know that you know that God asked you to do something, and you still have not done it, then why do you think He is going to entrust you with another assignment?  Get going!  If God has said “I want you to forgive that person!” and you keep saying “Oh, but God, my calendar is so full.  They don’t have time for a coffee.  I’ll get to it once we get through spring soccer season or after we get back from March break!”.  No!  If you are living in a space of active disobedience to something God has clearly asked you to do, friend, SHOT BLOCK!”.  Look at

• “They made their hearts as hard as stone, so they could not hear the instructions or the messages that the Lord… had sent them by his Spirit… ‘Since they refused to listen when I called to them, I would not listen when they called to Me,’ says the Lord.” Zechariah 7:12-13

Do you see the pattern here?  Refuse to listen to God, He gets to choose to refuse to listen to you.  Refuse to forgive others; God says “with the measure you use, I will dole it out to you.”  Don’t let any of these things hinder your prayers, friends!  My heart, my desire for each of us is to remain in active communion, close connection with God.  Hearing His voice, acting out of a place of responsive obedience.  Walking with each other in community that is untainted by the stain of bitterness or unforgiveness or any of that!  So how do we do this?  How do we practically walk in freedom and live in the light of forgiveness?  Let me suggest also 4 things, and we’ll move quickly through these… 

Personal Action Steps

(1) Take a regular spiritual inventory

I love my friends in 12 step programs.  If you are familiar with them, Step 4 is “make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”.  Yikes!

Sounds harder than it is.  The way I like to think about this is simply asking God on a regular basis “God, is there any areas of unforgiveness growing in my life?”  Anything I need to pay attention to?  Any people that I am not doing my part at living in unity and peace with?”  Because here’s the thing…   

• You cannot change what you don’t see and acknowledge as a problem

This is one of the beautiful things about prayer.  It is like a constant calibration for your soul.  In prayer, keep asking “God, I desire to receive Your full and complete forgiveness flowing into my life.  Is there anything that would prevent that from happening?”  I love the way that Psalm 139 invite this question:   

• “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24

The challenge I find is that often God’s list of what needs attention and my list are totally different. But when God points out something, then I need to move to #2…  Not just knowing about it, but doing something about it. 

One of the best things you can do to keep that flow of forgiveness coming into your life and overflowing into the lives of others around you is to

(2) Become a good repenter

Author Bob Sorge in his book “Secrets of the Secret Place” says that   

• Radical, rapid repentance is the best way to ensure that our prayers are unhindered

And we need to become good repenters not only of the things that are obvious to us – clear areas where we have offended God and others.  But also those areas of our hearts that are less obvious where we harbour sins.  Things like pride.  Unbelief.  Selfish ambition. Rebellion. Because when we repent, we receive the forgiveness that God offers so generously to us.  Look at the later part of Ps 66…  

• “If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.” Psalm 66:18-20

The conditional nature of the Pray Like This Prayer isn’t a kind of threat.  It is simply a reminder of the incredible storehouse of God’s mercy and kindness and love that He desires to pour out into your heart and mine.  And you do not want to do anything silly or petty that would block or hinder that in any way! 

OK, so in order to practice forgiveness, firstly, take regular inventory to see if there is anything or anyone you need to forgive forgiveness for or from; secondly, become a good repenter.  Thirdly,

(3) “Right-size” the offense  

Sometimes when we begin to press into a conversation on forgiveness, I hear people say things like “that person really hurt me!”

Yet as I listen more carefully to the story, I think to myself “really?!  You’re offended by that?  You need to grow a thicker skin my friend!”  Well that person looked at my funny during the worship time.  That person posted something on Facebook and didn’t acknowledge my contribution to the group.  That person didn’t invite me to their small group.  Gang… let me tell you as your pastor that  

• Not every hurt requires that you confront

Some of you need to get better at not taking offense to every little thing that happens.  Seeking to live in a place of forgiveness and peace sometimes means just dealing with it between you and God and not rushing out to let other people know how wounded you were when they didn’t talk to you.  In our Life Journaling reading for today, Proverbs has a lot to say about this.  Chapter 19 vs 11 says   

• “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”           Proverbs 19:11

Some offenses do not need a federal case made out of them.  They don’t need a full on Matthew 18 process of reconciliation.  They just need you to grow up, shut up and move on.  Not every hurt requires that you confront – some forgiveness happens without the person ever knowing that they may have offended you.  You simply cover over the offense and move on.  Not holding it against that person but simply dealing with it between you and the Lord. 

This isn’t always the case, however.  There are some things and some times where you need to take action and…

(4) Make it right 

The chapter before this teaching on prayer, Jesus says

• “So if you are presenting a gift at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24

Notice again the relationships between being in right relationship with other people and right relationship with God.  If you begin to raise your hands in worship and God brings to your mind a sharp e-mail you sent out, sit down, grab your phone and send an apology note to that person.  If they are in the room, seek them out and say “Friend, I am sorry.” in person.  Not “I’m sorry if I you took my e-mail the wrong way”.  That’s not a genuine apology – own your actions!  Own your part in it as the Lord gives you grace to receive and give forgiveness. 

Gang, this is hard work!  I’m not going to lie to you.  Forgiving others so that we can continue to receive the forgiveness Jesus offers is something that takes an insane amount of effort.  Which is why I am sooooo thankful that Jesus grants us the Holy Spirit to strengthen and empower us for this work.  Learning to give and receive forgiveness is one of the things that we have had to fight hard for at Jericho over the past 3 years. 

One of the things I am grateful for is that out of the journey that we have been on as a community, we have developed some tools for guide us.  One of the things we want everyone at Jericho to read is on our website under the “What We Believe” tab at the very bottom of that page.  It’s a two page document called “Principles of Peacemaking”.  That’s homework for you – if you haven’t read that in a while, get on there.  Look that up and keep it handy because it provides some extremely helpful guidance on this topic. 

But even with great tools like that, there are a few potential barriers that you may encounter as you walk the rugged road of forgiveness.  One very good question is (?) What if we cannot be reconciled? 

What if the person will not or cannot accept my sincere apology?  Romans 12 gives some guidance here  

• “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Rom]= 12:18

Do as much as is possible within your power to be at peace with others.  Recognizing that sometimes, you will do all you can but there still will not be full restoration of that relationship.  One of the most helpful books I have read on forgiveness is by south African bishop Desmond Tutu. He writes that after you have done everything you possibly can to be reconciled, there are still times when this side of heaven, it is not a possibility.  And so there are times when you need to honour the persons choice not to renew relationship.  This is because 

• Not everyone will receive the forgiveness you are willing to offer; not everyone you have offended will come to you and ask for your forgiveness

This is a hard place and I’ve found myself here several times over the past few years.  Where despite all the mediation or work done, there is not a desire to continue in relationship.  But then I keep coming back to this text in Romans… Have I done everything that I can to live at peace with that person?  For me, the litmus test of this is the grocery aisle.  If I’m at Superstore and I see that person coming with their cart down the same aisle as I’m turning into, do I rush away and hope that we don’t meet each other, or could I genuinely continue down that aisle and encounter them with a heart that isn’t’ filled with bitterness or rage?  You have to love everybody, but you don’t have be best friends with everyone. 

As we move to conclude, there’s another Potential Barrier Encountered:

(?) What if I don’t “feel forgiven”? 

We’ll talk more about this in two weeks, but one of the names Scripture gives to Satan is the accuser.  One of his favorite tricks is to get you to continue to feel guilt and shame over something that you have taken to Jesus and dealt with.  I love the reminder in the book of Isaiah 1 where it says

• “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” 1:18

Some of you have a hard time receiving forgiveness from the Lord.  But friends, when you take something to the foot of the cross and you say “God, please forgive me.  I receive your forgiveness that flows into my life not because of my worthiness but because of the powerful victory won at Calvary by Jesus’” then friend, it is settled.  What held you in captivity and bondage is DONE.  If you have never said yes to Jesus, to receive His love and forgiveness, today is your day.  Because When God Forgives Us…  He does not go back on his word.  It is settled.  And so you need to Stop remembering what God has forgotten

• “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” I John 1:9

God is faithful – in His justice, Jesus took the full penalty for that sin onto himself on the cross and dealt with it once and for all.  So you can walk cleansed.  Free from guilt and shame and the weight those bring.  So stop remembering what God has forgotten.  I love how Corrie Ten Boon said this.  She said “that God takes our sins and throws them into the deepest sea and then He posts a sign that says “No fishing allowed!”  Stop dredging up what God has dealt with!

The final word for this morning as Chris and Katelyn and team come and lead us in worship in song as a way of responding, is to remember the power of God that is unleashed when we allow the Spirit to flow through us When We Forgive Others. I love what author Richard Foster says about the Pray Like This prayer

“When we forgive it unleashes a flood of forgiving graces from heaven & among human beings…  It is a miracle of grace whereby the offense no longer separates… Forgiveness means that the power of love that holds us together is greater than the power of the offense that separates us.”

                                                  - Richard J. Foster

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.  That really is a miracle of God’s grace.  Because we understand how much we have been forgiven, so forgive those who sin against us, and then we humbly receive the forgiveness that our heavenly Father offers to us.  So let me ask you…

?) Are there any broken relationships in    your life due to unforgiveness?        What have you done to resolve it?         What would God have you do next?   

You may want to come and pray with someone for grace and strength to take that step.  Wally and Sylvia.  Myself & Dale Moore…  Let’s confess our need for forgiveness and then commit to walk together in peace and freedom as we invite God’s grace to flow into our lives and then out of us into the lives of others.